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Monday, July 6, 2015

July 2015: I Want to be Bold and Brave and Foolish

This is my jam right now, for some reason. I'm on a Mountain Goats kick right now (John Green has been sharing one Mountain Goats per every day recently, in anticipation of the Paper Towns premiere, and it's amazing. I love this song, but I wish it were about 10 minuets longer (I'm constantly having to switch windows so that I can play it again).
And the Chicago Cubs will beat every team in the league/
And the Tampa Bay Bucks will make it all the way to January/
And I will love you again/
I will love you/
Like I used to
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Went to see Me and Earl and the Dying Girl today, and it was golden.
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Adora was talking about something about which she's really excited, and she said "the future is now," so, she officially talks like I do. Which is great.
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Adora was concerned that I would forget something today, so she told me, "Write it on your hand. You'll never remember unless you do."
...I mean, she's right about that.
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I gave Juno my Dad's old iPhone today (it's completely dead), and she held it in her hand for a while, and kept looking at it expectantly, as if somehow, someway, it was going to start working.
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Today, I gave Adora a necklace that I bought in Japan. I was kind of concerned that she might lose it, and I really like it, so I said something like, "Okay, will you be careful to keep track of it when you take it off?" She responded, "I'm never taking this thing off!"
Oh, my goodness. Day made <3
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This is my current jam. Yay, representation!
Thanks, internet, ILY. 
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I had a dream today, and it was magical.
In it, Adora, Juno, and I went on some sort of adventure (one which I completely cannot recall now, of course). After the adventure, we went back to my house, and I took Juno up to the bunk beds, where we read together. She instantly fell asleep, at which point, Adora and I retreated to the downstairs, where we watched The Mindy Project with Mindy Kaling herself, somehow. It was a magical experience.
I told Adora about this, and she thinks it's hilarious.

Friday, July 3, 2015

June 2015: SCOTUS Gives Me Life, and other Amazing Happenings

This came up on my Tumblr dash in an astrology post, and I thought that it was really sweet:
CANCER: you deserve to shine as bright as you possibly can, you deserve to see the stars, and taste galaxies, and love someone who knows what that word means. you deserve so much, much more than i’ll ever be able to give. but i will give it up anyway. no more regrets. dance a lot to loud music, and sleep with your entire body and soul, take care of yourself in the most gentle way you know how. i want you to have fun. go out and do something only mildly reckless. i want you to find stories, to tell, to write, to capture, to paint, to sing half badly at the top of your lungs. you are so lovely. none of these words will ever be enough to tell you how grateful i am that you are here.
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Feeling cynical today, so:
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. ―Neil Gaiman
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I need to stop saying that I want to marry things/people. I'm turning into Maeby. 

People who I have said that I wanted to marry in the last 24 hours:
Dodie Clark (because duh)
The person who runs the Creepy, Abandoned Chi-Chi's blog
The guy in the "How Alt-J Makes Music" video who sits there the entire time, eating rice cakes. 
Hey, guys, holla at me. the four of us could have a beautiful life together. 
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All I really want this summer is to go to a creepy, abandoned Chi-Chi's. That's all I need. 
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I want to make a list of thing this month that are making me happy (specifically stuff with Adora and Juno) Here we go!:
Making soap with the chikadees, and them deciding to sell it and give the proceeds to charity. 
(6/13)
Cuddling with Juno and watching movies
Building forts and reading with the girls
Hiding (and finding) the Friday Box
"I wish we had that box EVERY Friday!"
Juno finding happiness after she has been disappointed
Days when Juno surprises me, and is okay with things that I thought would make her bubble over with frusteration
Days when I keep my cool, even though she is angry/crying/yelling, and help her through these moments
When Adora reads out loud to us from books
Doing pretty much ANYTHING with JC; specifically, watching Mad Max and ALL of Unbreakable last time we hung out was awesome <3 
Seeing Kristian tonight!! It's been too long, and I am so excited to see her again. 
Finishing my DIY sling! And taking about 50000 pictures in it
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Conversation with Juno today (about this video):
Juno: "The person who is married to Sara Barellis is really lucky."
Me: "I agree! Sara is so awesome and talented."
Juno: "I would totally go to the grocery store if I could meet Sara."
Me: "Me, too, it would be amazing. What if she did a concert around here, and we went, and then we get to meet her? What would you do?"
Juno: "I would scream!"
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Really well-phrased words from Tumblr (kayliemalinza.tumblr.com). 
"how can you be mad at new words, we’re so starved for ways to describe ourselves and see ourselves how are you gonna be prissy about more nuance and exploration and understanding, did y’all never go through that phase of i don’t know what i am but it’s something wrong
compulsory heterosexuality is a hell of a drug but that’s not our fault, homophobia is murder but that’s not our fault, stop blaming kids for being confused or in the closet. how do new terms and understandings do anything but help that?"
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The SCOTUS granted marriage equality in the United States today, and I am so, so happy.
Ben came to pick me up from Adora and Juno's today (I don't access the internet for personal use when I'm with the kids) and told me in the car, and I shrieked with joy and danced around (and may have shed some joyful tears). I'm honestly so happy right now. Four for you, America. You go, America.
This obviously isn't everything, and we have a long road ahead until we achieve full equality in our society, but this is a move in the right direction, and it's just really bringing out the love this week. Facebook just feels like a giant party, everyone is celebrating, and it's so great. Love is just radiating out from everywhere, and I'm honestly feeling so happy and fulfilled. Today, something that was wrong in the world was righted. Thank you, SCOTUS. Thank you.
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I was hanging with the weeacrew yesterday, and we had the following conversation:
Den: '"I went to a party last week, and there was an awkward silence, and someone said, 'every time there's an awkward silence, a gay baby is born,' and it just took me back six years, like, I hadn't heard anyone say that since middle school."
JC: "Man, there must have been a lot of awkward silences for all of us to be here in this room right now."
It was a beautiful moment.
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The week after the SCOTUS decision has been magic for me. Oh, my goodness, I have been overflowing with love and happiness. I just feel so validated and happy. And it's beel like a coming-out fest during the last week, which has been amazing, and so many people who I knew in the past have shown their support for the LGBTQ+ community, and my heart is so full. Chloe came up to me the other day and told me how happy she was about the decision (and I'm not even out to her XD But I have been celebrating very openly on FB), and that made my week. It's just been lovely.
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Quotes from the person who sat next to me at college orientation:
"I'm like a ho, expect for water."
At one point, the powerpoint read, in huge lettering, "What will YOU do at XYZ college?" They said under their breath, "Be hella gay."
"Basically all you need to know about me is that I'm a ho in every sense of the word. I'm an art ho, I'm a water ho, I'm a ho ho...ho. I'm a Christmas ho."
We wrote "Six Word Stories" about ourselves. They wrote, "I like puns, they are funny," and then ellaborated with, "See? IT'S A PUN. Because my pronouns are they, and I'M HILARIOUS."
All I can think now is "punception."

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I just learned the word "groutfit." It's when you wear a grey sweatshirt with grey sweatpants. That's your groutfit. There's a word for this. Bless modern times.
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I saw something cute in a music video today and said "Aw!", and Juno instantly asked, "What? Did you see a baby?"
She knows me too well.
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